Emily Dickenson and Me: Coming Out of Secret and into this World

Emily Dickenson and Me: Coming Out of Secret and into this World
By Ileana Reich
I have often compared my dark poetry and life to Emily Dickenson life. I researched her works and life in college. I have always wondered why she kept her poetry concealed. I can infer a lot of things. Instead of being a closet alcoholic, she was a closet writer. How many of us have done the same thing? Emily is one of the most intriguing poets I have read. Her life story is very unique. I have found a lot of similarities between our lives. She has inspired me, yet from her grave.

Emily wrote most of her life. Since I have been writing poems for almost 30 years, I see this as the first safe comparison. I have often wondered why I have only allowed a few people to see them, and why she died without letting anyone read them. I first started writing poetry and songs when I was 13. I had several of my first teenage written poems stolen from an apartment storage area when I was 18, and I was devastated by this. I was writing about death, eating disorders, faith and hope in God at that time. I was a Romanian Greek Orthodox at that time, which is a traditional church. Emily was raised in a traditional Christian home too. I kept writing all the way though adulthood, just like Emily too!


Also, Emily wrote about Nature, Death, and Love; I do the same. We both buried our poetry in a drawer. I did not want to wait until I died to allow it to be published. My work is very personal to me, and often the dark things I write about are real world experiences for me. This makes me very vulnerable. This may be why Emily didn’t get her work out there. It is much safer to keep things quiet. I think Emily had fear of rejection and acceptance. Also, what she was writing about was not traditional in nature, and it could have shocked her community. I cannot worry so much about that. Since I feel compelled to get it out there. I have to trust God on this. I also think that by getting my thoughts and feelings out there, others can be possibly be freed or helped. It also helps to know that you are not alone.


I find that I write when I am sad. Often things in the present remind me of a trauma that I had in the past, this brings what happened subconsciously right up to the forefront of the moment. I once heard this referred to as a body memory. I am trying to live in the now. I think that lately that is what I have been writing and struggling with. How does one make those body memories go away and stop coming back on their own? Did I give them the rights to do that? This sounds like another poem coming out of me.

I do believe that there is hope in Jesus and without Him I would not be alive. I hope more poems of hope and faith pour out of me. I know this will happen as I am freed!


I have an awesome link to Emily Dickenson’s poetry in my 'links of value', and my poetry can be found in the archives on this website.

(C) Ileana Reich 2008